Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Vanessa Shields

Writer. Mother. Writing mother.

The Moth - Stepping on the Storytelling Stage for the first time

Themoth

One of my dear friends sent me a link to The Moth's website about a year ago. Maybe even longer. I remember checking out the site and thinking to myself, there's no way I'll be doing that. That's way too scary. 

Basically, The Moth sets the space for good, old-fashioned, not memorized, not read storytelling. It presents a theme. Gives a location. And the fun (or fear) begins. 

The theme at The Moth event I attended was 'mothers'. I know, right? Too perfect. The location was Cliff Bell's in beautiful downtown Detroit. Nestled between tall, gorgeous buildings, Cliff Bell's a jazz bar slash restaurant is stuck in the best of the smooth jazz-era from its small, round stage to the deliciously curved ceilings to the hand-painted murals on the walls. It's a stellar place for live jazz and mouth-watering food. The service is excellent. 

The Moth event happens the first Thursday of every month at Cliff Bell's. I had no idea. I could potentially put myself through the fear and joy of live storytelling once a month, if I really wanted to! So, I went to Cliff Bell's with my friend, mentor, publisher Marty. He brought his camera. I brought my nervous stomach. He'd never been to Cliff Bell's so I knew he'd love that part of the evening. We really didn't know what to expect in terms of The Moth. 

Turns out, the sign-up system was as easy signing your name and address on a sheet of paper. The paper was then folded and put into a bag. Ten names would be pulled. If you got called, then you stepped on stage and had five minutes to tell your 'true' story. Three teams of judges were picked from the audience. These folks were called on to judge the storyteller with a score out of ten. The storyteller with the highest score moves on to another competition in September at The Gem Theatre in Detroit. 

My name was pulled third. I threw up in my mouth when the host said: "Oh, I think this is a first. Our next storyteller is from Canada!" GAH. I swear, few things in my life have my body in a situation where I want something as badly as I fear it. Getting up on stage and telling a story 'live' is right up for there in fear giantness as giving birth and pubishing a book. (Please don't judge me because of this!) If you know me, you know that having fear rarely stops me from doing things. It motivates me. It makes my guts break. But it rarely ever stops me. 

So up I went to the stage where so many had been before me. Not just storytellers, but amazing musicians...for decades the stage was a centre of greatness. I felt this vibe shoot up through me when I stepped up to the mic. The lights were bright and hot. I mumbled my first few words out...got some laughs. I remember scanning the crowd for smiling faces. I saw them, then I took to the lights with my eyes. I couldn't look at the audience because it made my mind head towards 'thoughts of doom' - those voices that say things like: you're fat. they can see your stomach. you should have - insert anything that makes you feel like crap here - I do what I always do when then voices get too loud. I point out what they're trying to make me feel bad about. I made a joke about my belly. Called it 'leftovers'...and the crowd laughed a bit louder. 

Then this magical thing happened. I swear if I looked hard enough there were sparkles floating on the wings of storytelling fairies all around me (no, no drugs were consumed in this process. I'm trying to explain the magic in the moment. Fairies are magical, n'est ce pas?). I stopped the voices of doom and just let the story tell itself. MAN. THAT. CHANGED. EVERYTHING. It was like my body was a vessel. I had these funny things to say. These very human moments covered in very human emotions, and they came out of my mouth in order and in good sense. And the crowd laughed and cheered. IT WAS MAGICALLY AMAZING. Stuff came out of my mouth that I could have never planned or practiced. It felt right to be there. It felt meant to be. It felt like I connected with a whole bunch of people all at once - and the words connected us. 

I mean, writing words and having them affect readers is fantastic, but speaking the words and feeling and hearing and seeing the instant connection - that's, well, it's freakin' magic. 

I don't know how long I spoke for, but when my story was over I looked at the host and the time keeper, and said: "That's the end of it. Was that five minutes?" We all laughed. I stepped off the magic stage. People shook my hand, tapped my shoulder, told me how funny my story was. It was crazy awesome. 

You know, I was that girl in high school. The one saying the morning announcements, the one leading the pep rallies, the one gathering and organizing large groups of students...I remember being on stage(s) then and feeling the same sort of rush and connection. I haven't been on a stage since my book launch over a year ago...and I felt the surge then as well. There's something about sharing with spoken words. Even though it scares the poop out of me, it also makes my heart sing magical songs. 

I received a score of 9.2, 9.7 and 9.5. I listened to and enjoyed the rest of the storytellers, but couldn't help but think that maybe I could win this thing. When I got there, I wasn't sure about how it worked. I didn't know that it was a competition. And, it kinda was a con more than a pro for me in terms of wanting to actually pariticipate. If winning happened it meant I would have to do it again! Did I want that? 

We laughed and cheered through the rest of the storytellers and the STELLAR hosting by Alex Trajano, a producer and audio engineer for WDET 101.9FM (NPR station), and Moth StorySLAM host. I had so much damn fun. Then, Alex called everyone up to stage - the storytellers who 'told' and the storytellers who didn't. Everyone got a chance to say one line from their story if they hadn't been chosen. Then they announced the winner. ME! FREAKIN' ME!!!  I still cannot believe it!

I'm not 100% sure what happens next. I just checked out The Moth website to try and get some details...they'll come, I'm sure. 

Are you intrigued? Do you want to do this too?! Well, you can! Head over to Cliff Bell's on the first Thursday of every month, and sign up to tell your story. They also have a StorySLAM in Ann Arbor if you'd like to go there. Stay tuned to the website for the details. 

Here are the next StorySLAMS in Detroit:

Tuesday, May 15th - Ann Arbor Moth StorySLAM 

Theme: Decadence

Location: Circus 210 South First

Thursday, June 7th - Detroit Moth StorySLAM

Theme: Retaliation

Location: Cliff Bell's 2030 Park Avenue

The place was packed at 5:30pm when we arrived. If you'd like to get a seat and maybe eat first, then you should get there no later than this. 

www.themoth.org

Here's an interview with Alex Trajano about The Moth. 

http://themoth.org/posts/moth-blog/the-moth-profiles-alex-trajano

I'll see you on stage, folks. Telling stories. Forever telling stories.

Tuesday's Truths

Ttmeepsmom

I was reading through some journals that I wrote when I was a teenager. Wow. What a jaunt down memory lane that was. I read some entries where in ALL CAPS I wrote 'I HAVE WRITER'S BLOCK! UGH!'

How do you feel about writer's block? Some of the writers in the blogs I subscribe to write about this (or some form of it) happening. 

Here's the truth for me: 

I don't get writer's block. In fact, I don't believe it exists. For me, ideas are always alive and brewing and swirling around in my head. Once I sit down to write, words burst out of me. I can't remember when I made the realization in my writing life that I don't need to be 'inspired' or 'in the mood' to write. It certainly helps, don't get me wrong, but rarely does it occur that I'm totally inspired about something and I can stop and write about it. I do carry an 'idea' book (a small notebook) with me always so if I get an idea that I have to write down, I can. And I do. Ideas are great when you get them and even better when you write them down so you can remember them later. I'd say that of the 10 ideas I get in a day, I remember one - maybe. Writing ideas down is integral in a writer's life. 

The writing mind is a physical body. It needs practice. The more you use it to write, the better it gets. If you know you get to 'practice' or write at certain times during a day or a week, then you can train your mind to do your best writing at that time. I look forward to my writing days. I look forward to 'treat' writing times - those writing times that pop up unexpectedly - when window opens and I can squeeze out a few more thoughts or sentences or pages (oh, the glory!). 

Yes, there are times when I'm in the thick of an unadulterated writing freedom spree when EERRRTT!!! the brakes squeal and the words...well, come to a stop. What do I do? I wait. I read back a few sentences. I breathe in and out. I stretch my arms and legs. I scream. I pick my nose. Then my fingers find their way back to the keyboard - and I wait. For the words to come. For the characters to continue breathing and living through my fingertips. They do. But even this aspect of writing took time to master. 

It takes time to trust that the words will continue to flow. It takes time to get over the fear of 'frozen mind' - when all gets cold and dark in your creative mind. It will happen. Fearing that it will come is like fearing tomorrow - it's comin' so why not make the best of it? My mind does go blank sometimes. But I don't call it writer's block. There's not a blockage there, there's just a pause. A moment or moments of re-saturation. Of patience. Of character growth. 

Write through it, is another way to get through this time. Don't think, just write. Write: I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO WRITE. WTF. Keep the words coming out even if they don't directly relate to what you are working on. When Micheal Phelps is doing his bojillionth length at swim practice and his legs are rubbery stubs of lactic acid, I'm sure the farthest thing from his mind is that he can't finish. That he can't do it. He's practiced so much, he pulls through it. His body knows what his mind fears - that it can do it. The writing 'body', which is essentially your creative self, knows that it can do it. 

So next time you feel whatever you define as 'writer's block' coming on - try giving it the finger - waiting, breathing, jumping up and down, and seeing what happens. 

Do you believe in writer's block? Why or why not?